Thursday, January 25, 2007

Money MoNEY MONEY!

Some who read this post won’t get it. Others who read this post will say “Ahuh!” Recently, I have been reviewing Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. I have her book and CDs. I listen every day to and from work. In one chapter, she speaks about artist stereotypes (starving, drunk, messed up, weird, etc.). Of course, she explains these stereotypes are fictional. Artists don’t have to be any of those things to be good, accomplished artists. In one passage, she mentions how some artists are addicted to poverty. Years ago, I didn’t understand that concept, because I was so very poor. Decades ago, when I first heard her speak of this; I laughed and thought, “How could anybody be “addicted” to poverty??” Well, I understand now. The reason for my shift of understanding and perception is because I am not really poor anymore. I am sure not rich, but I have money to pay my bills, buy art supplies, have an nice little house/w/studio in a nice neighborhood, and the most important thing is that I can go to the grocery store and buy whatever I want. If you put all those ducks in a row and then look at 90% of the world, I am very wealthy. However, when I watch any segment of entertainment news and see the 21-year-old zillionaire who lays down 10K for a party, I feel like a pauper!! LOL OK, so I am so I am somewhere in the middle in the financial scheme of things.
Although today, I had an epiphany! My day job requires that I go out and buy supplies. I hate this. Each time I get the company credit card, I start to sweat. I do not like spending the money. When I return the card to the secretary, I get stiff with anxiety. The weird thing is they never balk at the amount or chastise me in any way. They know I wouldn’t abuse this responsibility and only buy what is truly needed. When I walked out of the secretary’s office today after turning in my receipts, I froze up again. This isn’t even my money, yet I hate spending it! I realized this attitude comes from all the years of being really poor. I also realized this may be another reason I hesitate to sell my work. That would mean I would be going against some bizarre “starving artist” stereotype. Oh my goodness, this is so stupid! Please learn from my mistakes. I am trying to do just that!!


ICON
Acrylic/Mixed Media/Wood
12” X 10”
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