Friday, February 23, 2007

SANITY and other elusive commodities

I rolled my eyes more than once this week with all the Anna Nicole and Brittany Spears B.S. going on in the media. Even though the death of A.N. and the “balding” of “B.S.” (Are her initials a pun or just a coincidence?) was startling and so sad, it worried me more that I kind of understood what was going on in their lives. No, I am far from being a celebrity and I am sure not rich. However, I guess on a primal level, I understand the confusion of their worlds. There are so many double standards, false promises, and (un)realities cloaked in a very thick, murky fog. I see how people get so emotionally / spiritually / intellectually / etc. screwed up. I just can’t blame them really. Despite my relatively “normal” artist life, I too have tried to walk that thin line between sanity and being capable of shaving my head bald. Recently, I told an artist friend I have had the experience of “looking over the edge of the cliff” many times in my years. In fact there are moments now, I look down to see if I am managing to keep even one toe on that thin line.
I think the thing that has saved many and me is the fact I don’t want anyone to notice me. I don’t seek that kind of attention. In fact the older I get, I am loving that I rarely get a second look and probably couldn’t get hit on even if my hair was on fire. I have joined the group of “wallpaper women”!
I think this is liberating in some bizarre way.
Anna and Brit (didn't)/don’t have that wisdom or advantage. It is all about “Look at MEE!, Look at MEE!” Yet as they yelled, they were being pushed over the edge into the abyss. Thank you God for making me a NOBODY.

1 comment:

KJ said...

Well said! Yea for blending into the wallpaper... how lucky can we get? KJ