Sunday, October 28, 2007

TIME OUT!

I know, I know. I tend to get pissy every once in a while. It is in my genes. I have a long history of relatives who are certifiable in the mental/emotional department. I should be grateful. I could be far crazier! I only have a potpourri of little weirdnesses. In fact, it is as if I took little tidbits along the buffet of my gene pool. I am a little OCD; a little ADHD, a little bipolar; a little schizy every once in a while; I have some bizarre learning disabilities, and I have phobias. If you put an artist temperament on top of all that, it can be barrels of fun. I have learned to live and laugh at it all. However, one thing that is frightening is I get on these hyperactive rolls. I go up and up and up and the frenzy gets momentum. There is no place to go but down. Boy, this is the awful part. I plummet to the depths with a boom!
Most of the time, I do this to myself. I know when it is happening and know the outcome, but I do it anyway. This past week has been a blur. I have watched way too many artist videos and visited too many artist websites. The terrible part is that one after another, I would look at their work and think “My art sucks”. Then I would move onto another artist’s offerings and think “My art sucks”. This is a never ending mind recording playing in a loop. During those moments my Black Muse (self destructive alter ego) laughs at me. I have been reading art marketing advice to the point of being cross eyed. I hear the mind tape again! It will say things like “Who are you kidding? You are such a crappy artist!” Today after starting to read a .pdf about art business strategies, I felt like I could collapse in a heap. Right now, I am feeling the pain of landing. Grappling for the strength to turn this computer off, I thought “Ok Sheree, you need a TIME OUT!”
Years ago, I would call these times of my “Black Muse”. I made a quickie poster for my studio to remind me of this ghostly demon. Every so often I look up at it, read the text, and tell him “You might get me every so often, but I am winning because I am still here!”

Click to read the text telling of the antics
of my “Black Muse”!

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