Friday, January 25, 2008


Does it ever GO AWAY? I mean, come on now. I have been an artist for a long time. I have had all the ups and downs imaginable. Yet when I get a rejection, I still feel like…...SH*T! know the feeling.
Today, I got rejected from an exhibition of which I really wanted to be a part. I planned it out. I took care to submit appropriate materials. All my “T”s were crossed and all my “I”s were dotted. My interpretation of the "theme" was spot on. I sent out the application materials and felt really good. I even imagined the opening. I thought about what I was going to wear and who I would meet. I was full of mental smiles. Then today I got the notice I was rejected.
I sat for a moment as a read the notice. My heart was pounding hard. Then the thoughts began to race. I clicked on Notepad and started to type what I was thinking. The following thought process is silly, irrational, and a bit crazy. Yet, it is real. Here it is:
Thoughts the moment of rejection
"Oh well....."
Feeling the heat rising in my face, I think, "I can't believe this."
The heat rests around my jaw as another thought comes,"Those jurors are jerks!"
Feeling tears stop short of filling my eyes, "Why didn't they pick at least one?"
"Stupid show! Stupid gallery!"
I wanted to be in that show!" "I was looking forward to seeing my work in that gallery.”
"What is the point? I am just going to stop making art. Yeah right, get a grip Sheree!"
"I worked so hard to get that work ready for that show! Yeah, and now you have two more paintings done so GET OVER IT!!"
Sitting back in the chair, I stare at the rejection notice. "You have been through this hundreds of times before. Isn't it time for your reaction to be a little more subtle and matter of fact?" "You have sat with jurors; you have been a juror: you know how this works!" "Some good works don't get chosen. You know your work is not BAD! This is NOT a personal attack! Maybe it wasn't their taste. Maybe they didn't think it fit their asinine THEME. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe.....ASSHOLES!" “Damn it, Damn it, Damn it!!!!”
I am pissed. I am sad. I am confused. I feel like crap. I am angry. I should do a painting about idiot jurors. Yeah....that's an idea.

After this mental rant, I took the rejection letter and tore it up. I took it outside, put it in a pot, and burned it. You might think this is rash behavior, but it worked for me!!!

The FUN part!
You burn me, I burn you!! TEE HEE HEE
I feel better now!
I gotta go paint. :-)

No comments: