Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Drive ON!

OK… Here I am. I am having one of those days. Life is a real Yin/Yang kind of thing. After a three day weekend, I went to work all spunky and excited. I was jazzed. Less than an hour after arriving, I had been cursed out at least fifteen times…. (You “F”in B!, You “F”in white cracker midget!, You “F-in, F-in, F-in” WHATEVER!!!) Oh just shut UP!! Then, a few hours later, a sweet young thing totally, undeniably, trashed my art studio classroom. I wish I could post pictures. You would be amazed. I am talking destruction. There were hundreds of markers and colored pencils all over the floor. There was paint dripping down the walls. There were chairs lying on their side next to a full size loom lying dead on the floor. My masks from Bali were tossed and marred. My pirate treasure chest with treats for these……….children, was upside down and missing some of the surface gems.
I think this was a wakeup call. I am so TIRED. I am so over all this. I am so WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW??
I loved this job at one time. However, I found myself wishing my life away today. I kept thinking, “Why can’t I get older faster so I can “legally” retire!” This is more than awful. Yet, I just don’t know what to do. I have a life and financial responsibilities. If I give up this job, I have to give up this life. In an effort to make sense of all this, I made a short video. I thought, “Maybe if I SEE it, I will know what to do.” Wish me luck!
I used the Joni Mitchell song “Harry’s House/Centerpiece” as the soundtrack. For me, there is no HARRY. I am the one and only who supports me and my life. However, I can relate to Joni’s rants. I can relate to her yelling at kids and mentioning “take home pay”. Boy do I get it!!!

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