Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Art Blog: Hello SHEREE!

OK. No matter how old or young you are, no matter what kind of artist you are, or no matter what your situation is right now, get out your paper and pencil. Take notes. I want you to record how I am either going to screw up ROYAL or triumph beyond odds.
Oh don’t worry. I haven’t burnt my house down or filled my backpack and started walking yet. I am still applying to teaching jobs all over the place. I must admit, the jobs I have been applying for are SAFE. That means, I can continue my (kind of) middle class life, have benefits, and a little retirement fund while living somewhere in Podunkville. Oh that is really gutsy, right?
I am a ballsy woman. I have always been like this. I have always done what I want to do when I wanted to do it. It never mattered if someone said “You can’t!”; I did it anyway. Luckily for me, it has always worked out. This is how I got to this little spot on the ground. I am doing OK. However, I am so unhappy right now. I gotta make waves.
While looking for teaching jobs last night, I saw one for Brooklyn. I sat and gazed at the computer screen. I thought WOW. Then, I began to make excuses. I can’t move there. I would lose my retirement and my tenure. It is too scary up there. OH MY GOODNESS, the excuses were flying! Yet the bottom line is I always wanted to live in NY. I just never took that step. As I read the screen and thought “Maybe in another life…” I realized SHEREE wasn’t speaking. Sheree would have said “Go for it!” Somehow Sheree has turned into this timid, little woman afraid to do what she wants to do. Sense and stability are too prominent in her thoughts right now. Then, I saw a vision. Oh, Sheree didn’t appear full force. Nope! I just saw Sheree peeking out from a fleece blanket. I saw her eye looking at me. I heard her voice. Quietly and calmly, I heard the words “Why not?”
Hello Sheree! I heard you. I am not saying I am starting to pack my bags right now. I am not even saying I am going to move out of state. I am saying, I want to be the brave Sheree again! The moral of this story is never limit your possibilities. I don’t want to hold myself back. I want to allow all my ideas to flourish, not just the safe, predictable ones. I want be a little ballsy again. Hey, that could happen!

There are few of my art works that I will never sell. This is one.
”New Start” is like my logo. It is hung center stage in my living room.
I look at it every day. It reminds me that each day is new and fresh.
I can work with that.
In fact, I have to go look at it again right now.

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