Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Art Blog: Identity

This post is a bit silly, petty, and narcissistic. LOL LOL
However, it is VERY important to me. I identify myself as an artist. Yes, I might teach. I might be a mommy. I might be this, that, and the other thing. Those labels are ancillary. My whole self concept is wrapped around being an ARTIST. I have always thought this way even when I was a very young girl.

When I started teaching, I was clueless. Since my degrees are in fine arts, I didn’t understand the ways of teaching or the educational system in general. Those first few teaching years were hectic as I tried to play catch up and learn the dogma. As the years moved on, I became fanatical about being the best teacher I could be, getting more certifications than necessary, and becoming an online presence in educational communities.

A couple of years ago when I realized I was miserable and my teaching sail deflated, one of the catalysts for the collapse was when I did a Google search on my name. I looked at horror at the results page. Oh, I was listed many, many times. However, almost every listing had to do with teaching. NO NO NO NO I take art seriously. I take myself as an artist too seriously at times. That is how important this is to me. When I looked at all the teacher stuff on the page, I felt like the real Sheree had died. It was at that moment, I decided to take my life back. I realized I need to focus on my ART and be an artist (who teaches), instead of a teacher (who makes art).

I wanted my identity back:
Sheree Rensel = ARTIST

Over the past year, I would check Google every so often to see how I was doing with my transition. I wondered if artist or teacher was winning. I was so excited this morning to find my true ARTIST self has made it to the top of the heap.
Halleluiah!!

Sheree is back, alive and well!! HOORAY!!!

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