Saturday, August 23, 2008

Art Blog: Stay in FAITH

I am sitting here right now about ready to hyperventilate. My mind is racing. My heart is pounding. Thoughts are speeding a million miles a minute. I have to calm down, get my head together, and just do what I have to do.
I went back to teaching this week. Ironically, it was a wonderful week. The students came in and were happy to be in my classes. Not one student was rude, nasty, or violent. In fact, they were very sweet and loving to me. Weird. Yet as I unpacked boxes of art supplies as my students worked on their first project, my mind drifted off. I realized it isn’t just the environment and behaviors that are urging me to move on, but the fact I am bored silly!

I need new challenges to stimulate my mind. I want to teach somewhere I will have to run home after classes and study up just to keep up with the students! I don’t have that now. I fear my brain is starting to atrophy!
Then, I got an email from GILDA. She sent me a job lead. It is such a long shot, but I am going to apply. I have to because it would be my dream job. This is why my head is spinning. Even as I sit here preparing materials, I am learning so much about myself. One thing that is shocking is that I am having bouts of insecurity. This is so strange because I think of myself as being over that kind of thing. I guess not. Another totally bizarre thing is the job is in Michigan. I THOUGHT I would never want to go back there, but I want this kind of job MORE than I hate snow. In other words, if I got hired for this job, I would be very happy to buy some snow boots with my first pay check.
Just playing with the idea of getting this job is interesting. I think it is ironic it is a few miles from where I went to high school. That would mean I would have come full circle. Another odd thing is that I have been busy digitizing slides just this summer and came across student work from when I taught college level. That is a weird coincidence. It makes me see I have been preparing for a new life without even realizing it. Luck is being prepared when opportunity knocks. Well, I have what it takes and I am prepared. So now even if this a long shot, I just have to “stay in faith”. Things will happen the way they are meant to happen.

It is fun to wonder what is going to happen with me.
Will Michigan be in my future ever again?
This will not be totally my call (as I look to the heavens.)
We will see!


Dryadart said...

I'll be sending positive thoughts out to teh universe, hoping it comes to pass for you!!

Sheree Rensel said...

Dry, You have no idea how much your words make a difference to me. I too hope the Universe hears this. All I can do is try my best. I am doing that now. I too, hope things will happen.
Thank you,