Saturday, September 20, 2008

Art Blog: Blue Jays and Feathers

I don’t really have an affinity to birds. I lived with someone who had a parrot and it drove me crazy! One of my friends gave me a book about “BIRDS”. She said “Here, I know you like birds. You have them in your art all the time.” This is wrong. Well they might show up in my art, but it isn’t because I like them. They just pop up. I think it is because they represent freedom, flight, and a perspective that exemplifies the big picture. Another bird thing about me is I have subconsciously connected my father with feathers. Maybe this is weird, but whenever I see a feather on the ground, I say “Hello Daddy”. He died many years ago. Right after his death, I was meditating and a feather just dropped from the sky. From then on, I always associate feathers with him.
So today, I spent my day practicing. I have collected all kinds of interview questions that could be asked during an interview. I read them and then thought about my answers. I reread my resume. I took another look at my application materials. It was almost as if I was asking myself: “Sheree, are you still here?” I am. I couldn’t find any errors. This is good. Fresh eyes that find no mistakes allow me to realize I am doing the best I can do. This will alleviate the pressure if I get rejected.

Back to the birds. So I worked on the computer most of the day, fixing, researching, and planning my agenda. I took a break and went outside. There was this blue jay that kept hovering, and then landing near me. I looked him straight in the eye. I even spoke to him. I said “So, what do you think? Am I doing the right thing?” He cocked his head and just stared at me. He paused. Then he flew up to the highest wire there is. He turned and looked back. I looked high up and watched him. Then I smiled and yelled “Yeah, I know.”
Tomorrow when I go out on my bike hike or rollerblading (I haven’t decided yet! LOL), I will be thinking about all this. It is inevitable. I will see a feather on the ground. I will greet my Dad, look up, and say “I am doing it Daddy. I am finally doing it.” He knew what I wanted. He knew what I loved. My art and teaching skills come from him. He always knew what I wanted to be. He is looking down right now and smiling. I know when I get my new job I will find a feather somewhere on that campus.

I know it.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Blue Jays are amazing. They are very smart. There was one in particular in my yard who was out of this world. She was scarred so I could always identify her. I like what you do with the Jay.

Eva

Sheree Rensel said...

Oh yes Eva! Blue jays are very smart! I was surprised to find out they are relatives of crows. They are so sassy and even bully other birds. For whatever reason, they are kind of like my bird. Out of all birds in my yard, the blue jays stalk me. Even though they can be mean little creatures, I love watching them chase all the other birds away from their territory. They aren't even afraid of me. They come right up and stare at me. I guess I like their nerve!
Thanks for your comment.
:-)

artistsjournal said...

Sheree, I have just read the last few posts and what you said about the Black Muse and fear and doubt. I'm glad the Blue Jay set you straight again! Hee hee! You might want to put a big affirmation on your bathroom mirror in magic marker or lipstick or paint or a big sticky note about that perfect new job that's out there waiting just for you!

Sheree Rensel said...

Martha, I think I am a step ahead of you. You know, this past summer I was working on my website. I changed my "art ed" link because I didn't want to promote my art teacher website. Then, I decided I should at least include it somewhere. So I made a little hot link on my artist web page that says "PROFESSOR SHEREE" website. That link goes to my art ed pages. I thought it was funny. However, I realize now it is symbolic to me. I am "Professor Sheree". I know it in my heart of hearts. I am just waiting for it to become my reality. :-)

dryadrat said...

you feather story gave me goosebumps... I'm glad you trust your intuition and know that the universe is moving for you...

Sheree Rensel said...

Dry,
My feather thing gives me goosebumps too. You would be surprised at how my Daddy feathers turn up in the weirdest places and at the strangest times!