Sunday, September 21, 2008

Art Blog: Fine Line

I am walking a fine line right now. Emotionally I am in the clouds. My rational self is tugging on the string attached to my ankle trying to pull me back to earth. I am drifting down, but bob up and down with a fit of stubborn buoyancy. I have to land and plant my feet on terra firma. I just have to do this for my own good. I will explain.
If you have been reading this month’s posts, you know I am looking for a college teaching position. It might seem like this desire just popped into my head this summer. It did not. I have wanted this for a long, long while. However, I needed to stay at my current job until my daughter graduated from college. So three years ago when that happened, I immediately started applying for college jobs. I got a call from a woman at a local college. She interviewed me and was so excited. I was hired as an adjunct at a college right here in St. Petersburg! I was happy beyond words. It was a perfect situation. I could keep my day teaching job and get my foot back in the door at the higher ed level. I signed all the papers, went to their faculty orientation and started planning my curriculum. I was in seventh heaven. The department head told me they had planned on promoting the art classes within the college. If they did that, it didn’t work.
The class didn’t run due to low enrollment. The department head called and told me not to worry. They would run it again in the spring. I kept planning and imagining all the things we could do in this painting class. Spring came and I was excited for the schedule of classes to be published. I looked at it and quickly thumbed through the book to see my class. It wasn’t offered. I was devastated. I called the DH and asked “Why?” She just said they decided not to run art classes this semester. She forgot to call me to let me know. That was the last I heard from that college. It made no sense to me. It was so frustrating and confusing; I gave up trying to find a college job. Every time I would think about this whole scenario, it made me sick to my stomach. It took me this long to just get over it and move on.
So right now, I am walking a very fine line. It is like a thin, linear, emotional wall between being super positive and reality based. This is the first week of application reviews for a couple of my potential jobs. I don’t want to even think negatively about my job applications. However, I have to prepare myself mentally to be rejected. I have to see it as it is and not take it personally. I just have to keep applying for every job that interests me until I get THE job. It only takes one. I am not going to let rejection stop me this time. I have to keep the momentum going regardless.
Yes, Yes, YES!

So when this happens, say "So what!" Just keep applying Sheree. Keep moving forward. No matter how long it takes, your job will appear.


C. L. DeMedeiros said...

The secret, no doubt, is keep walking...
Happens to me a lot>

I'm totally supporting you on that


Sheree Rensel said...

Thanks for your support! I am in such a weird place right now, but I will get through it, just like everything else that comes my way!

dryadart said...

I forget which explorer said it but to paraphrase he said that action has intention and is rewarded by the universe, that things you never expected happen to you and for you...that the universe sends its help, I KNOW THIS IS TRUE.. I know you know it to, that job is somewhere, but waiting is so hard,

Sheree Rensel said...

Yes, I do know this. I have lived it. You are oh so right. The WAITING is so awful. I remember when I first moved to Florida, I couldn't find a good job and I would cry and cry. The waiting nearly killed me. It took two years of waiting. Then my job dropped from the sky. It is kind of funny because that is the same job I have now. I kept it 15 years, but it is time for a new one. So if the Universe is listening, "Drop that new job SOON PLEASE!! I am standing down here with a catcher's mitt!" LOL LOL