Saturday, November 29, 2008

Art Blog: Art Life Reality Sets In

This is a hard thing. We all try to stay positive. We hear “Never say never!” However, there comes a time in everyone’s life, you realize some things will never be. It is not fun to realize you will NEVER become or be able to do certain things. This feeling is similar to when some men realize one day they will never play in the NFL. Even though I don’t relate to that, I do relate to the emotional letdown. I mean, there are things in your life you will never be able to do. Face it. Lucky for me, I have a very narrow scope of aspirations. However, I am not immune to life’s disappointments.

I hate to admit this. I can’t believe I would even write these words. However, I am going for it. Recently, I have been hooked on watching the TV show about the making of Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Oh yes. SHOCKING! I am so against cheerleading and everything it stands for in our society, it isn’t funny. I hated cheerleading so much, it became one of the most important lessons I gave my daughter. Whenever she would ask about this phenomenon, I would freak out; I would change the subject; I would tell her she was worth more. Ironically, my daughter could have been the perfect cheerleader. She has the look. I didn’t care. I wanted more for her. I will admit the TV show proved to me these girls have to do a lot more than just look sexy.
OK, back on task here. So I started watching the “making of a cheerleader” show out of boredom. I actually liked it. Despite realizing many of the girls are not the “brightest crayons in the box”, they have to earn their keep. I saw the candidates had to go through a type of hell to become an official DC cheerleader. My admiration grew from seeing their work, struggles, failures, and triumphs. I was living vicariously through these girls. I was taken in by the challenge of it all. I actually felt bad for those who didn’t make the cut.

Obviously, I will never be a cheerleader of any kind. Age has taken its toll. In fact, even in my youth I was never in contention. Never. I am far too short and oddly shaped. I was never athletic enough. Also, my personality made it impossible to be content waiting on the sidelines. So be it.

Nope, Never, Never, Never. Oh Well……. Tee Hee HEE HEE

However, there are other life disappointments that linger. I will not say anything about art life disappointments. OH NO! I have no regrets and I am still a working artist. Hey, it ain’t over until the fat lady sings! Yet, there are other simple things I have come to realize are gone for good.
When I go to Busch Gardens, I stand and look up at the swirly, whirly, techno roller coasters. I wish I could go on them. I can’t. For some reason, I can deal with wooden rollers that go up and down. Yet a few years ago I learned I just can’t endure modern rollers that go loopty loop. Spiraling around and round doesn’t agree with my physiology. I just can’t do it.

The same reality exists for me and the circus. I can’t experience any kind of circus. There is something about my make up that prohibits me from being able to stand or stay sane during Ringling Brotheresque, circus shows. It is just too much stimulation. There are too many sounds; too many colors; too much movement; too much EVERYTHING. It is a neurological thing, I think. For example, last week I watched one of my autistic students made to sit through an African drum performance. I am not his lead teacher, so I couldn’t remove him from the situation. However, I watched him bow his head; close his eyes, frown, and wince in pain. I felt so bad for him. I related. I totally understand. There are some things we are just not meant to do. I will never be able to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader in this life. I will never be able to go on a modern roller coaster. I will never be able to go to the circus. This is a very short list of all kinds of things I will not experience in this art life. It is sad, but true. This is OK though. I have a bunch of life I can do and I am doing it now.
Do you have any things that you can’t do, but wish you could?

I feel sad I can’t do loopty loop roller coasters.
However, it isn’t worth the puke. LOL LOL

Then, there is the circus. It is too much of a good thing.
Also, clowns suck and they are creepy.
I am sorry. No offense intended. Too weird for me!


JafaBrit's Art said...

Because of a chronic back problem there is a lot of things I can't do now (including roller coasters). I grieved about it for a while.

I hate clowns, always have and the first time I went to a circus at the age of 24 I hated it. So I will never go to a circus.

I will never be a famous artist, (reality is I don't kiss butt, don't hang in the right circles, have a woman middle age strike against me, and don't create buzz type of work that appeals to collectors and dealers).

Oh well, I will do my jafa thing even if I can't scream it at the top of a roller coaster or while swinging from a chandelier.

Never did get the cheerleader thing, but I do respect the time and energy they put into it.

namastenancy said...

Is this a "great minds think alike" moment or what? I have been watching the Dallas Cheerleaders show as well and consider it one of my guilty pleasures. Like you say, the girls aren't the sharpest crayon in the box - and I wish that they had better values - but they sure worked hard to get in and stay in. Ditto the circus - I hate it because (to me), it smells of cheap exploitation and lies and sad, unhappy lives. Plus I dislike slapstick and the clown routines. Maybe that worked in simpler times but the last time I went to a circus (30 years ago or more?), I had to leave. There was just something about the scene that sickened me.
As for other things that I wish - well, we all know the limits of being an older woman. Then add the limits of being an older woman artist in a field mostly controlled by and for younger men. I just wish that we had more community and grass roots arts organizations here in SF to counteract the tiny and elite gallery scene.
So, today I'm off the to the studio. Two new pieces in process plus an altered book plus a whole folder of research material on medieval scripts to practice on.
That's my reality. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sheree Rensel said...

Jafa, I can't imagine having chronic back pain. I have had back trouble a few times in my life and it is HELL. I am still wildly active and the only reason I can't do loopty loop roller coasters if due my ears. I get too dizzy.
I am not sure what a FAMOUS artist is, but I don't kiss butt either. I guess you figured that out already. LOL I would love to hang in the right circles if I could find which one was right.

Sheree Rensel said...

I am SO GLAD you can relate to this post. I wrote it late last night. When I woke up, I almost didn't post it because I read it and thought "People will think this is stupid!" Actually, I think I didn't want people to know I watch the Dallas Cowboys cheerleader show. LOL LOL

I did post it because I figured somebody would understand the point I was trying to make. I am happy you "got it".

I too am experiencing an art frenzy. I have worked for two days doing art biz stuff. I have four packets ready to be mailed. I am going to write about that tomorrow.

namastenancy said...

Your secret is safe with me (zips lips).