Sunday, September 28, 2008

Art Blog: …..more than you know!

Today’s post is simple and to the point. I write this blog in lieu of morning pages. If you have ever read “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron, you know what I am talking about. I started blogging because morning pages got old. I thought about how I love writing, but I wanted to be able to see it online. Thus, I started this blog.
I really write for myself. It is just a way of sorting my ideas and seeing my thoughts in print. When other people started reading and commenting, it was icing on the cake.
Today, I want to THANK all those who read this blog and share your thoughts with me through comments. I am in awe of every comment. I can’t believe you take the time to read and think about my posts.
There are no words to express how much this means to me. It touches me deeply and more than you know!
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sincerely,
Sheree


Saturday, September 27, 2008

Art Blog: Sheree the Artist, OK?

I just have too much coming at me right now. Job, art, job hunt, art, house, art, the economy, art, life, art, politics, art, art, more art. I will be fine. However to spare you the details of my artistic melt down today, I suggest you watch this. REM says it much better than I can.



"Everybody Hurts"

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone,
If you feel like letting go,
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you’re sure you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on………….
Everybody hurts. Everybody cries. Everybody hurts.
You are not alone.
So, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. hold on, hold on. hold on, hold on…………

____________________________________________________________________________

OH! You don't think I would forget the esoteric crowd, do you?
Here is Paul Potts. Same song, different language. In other words, despair is universal!!! ;-(

Friday, September 26, 2008

Art Blog: Sheree the ARTIST who?

No Notice Of Fear
Virgo Daily Horoscope
“You may feel slightly apathetic today as you consider the direction your life has taken. Even though your indifference can help you avoid getting swept up in thoughts of failure, you may also have trouble drumming up the necessary enthusiasm to conceive of new goals. Consider that your detachment can serve another purpose altogether if you channel your aloof mood into a more constructive mind-set. You will likely find that you can derive a sense of confidence from your indifference by simply choosing to disregard your fears. No power on earth can stand in your way today when you have chosen to tread a path wherein anxiety is irrelevant.”

OK, time for me to change hats. I just read my horoscope and it reminded me to just move on and ignore all my worries. This past six weeks is a perfect example of how artists try to juggle and while they struggle to catch all the balls, all it takes is one misstep and all the balls tumble to the ground. This is the way I feel right now. I have been so busy. Between school projects and looking for a new job, my art life has been gobbled up by the time monster. It is time for me to get back to being myself.
This is not to say the job hunt is over. Oh no. This won’t be over until I get THE job. However, I am going to set those tasks and energy on the back burner. My next job deadline isn’t until October 15. I have time at least for a week or two to think ART now.

I started gathering up call for entries for shows. I am behind on my new year’s resolutions. Did I say “behind”. LOL LOL LOL Gee, when I look at my resolution poster sitting here in front of me, I haven’t really done any of it. Well, I did get my “Lost Souls” online. However, the rest is still waiting for some kind of action. So today is the day I get moving.
I found a number of shows I want to enter. I am being very careful and selective. The economy is such that I don’t want to waste money on entry fees and shipping if the show isn’t something valuable or interesting to me. Also, I bought myself an early Christmas present. I bought a bunch of books on amazon.com. They just came. I can’t wait to dive in to my new pile of books! So from this moment until Monday morning at 6:30 AM, I am Sheree the ARTIST. Whoooo-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even though I bitch and moan sometimes, I just have to say:
“LIFE IS GOOD”!


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Art Blog: The REVELATION

Yeah, yeah, I know. Shut up Sheree. We are tired of hearing about it all. ME TOO!!! I HEAR YOU!!!! However, I just had to say one more thing. I rarely talk about teaching at my current job. My silence is on purpose. However, I just have to yell, scream, and shout today. For those of you who don’t know, I work with kids who are very rough around the edges. They don’t really have anything. Their academic skills are nil to none. Their life events are something I really don’t want to mention.
So here I have stood for 15 years. Oh yeah. They call me every name in the book. It is nasty. It is vulgar. It is a situation most people cannot imagine. Yet, I have hung in there. Maybe I am stupid. LOL However, there is just SOMETHING that has made me stay.
I am still looking for another job. Oh yes! I dream of the day I can have a conversation/dialog about art. Oh my goodness, I dream. While I am waiting for that opportunity, I have to make do. I have to use my time wisely. Thus, I present my current student's rap video endeavor. I don’t want to go into the ins and outs of my students. They are tough. There is a good side though. You just have to dig for it.
In order to engage these kids, you have to meet them in the middle. You have to speak their language. You have to have a sense of humor. You have to see the BIG picture. Well, for the last six weeks, I did all that. We made a rap video. These kids didn’t know what Moviemaker was 19 hours ago. Yet, they made their own rap video. They would run to my class. They came on their lunch hour. They wanted to work.
Well, they did work. They created something. I can’t show it here due to confidentiality, but I will be a witness. They created a totally lame, but funny rap video. It is tremendous. They came to school. They wanted to learn. They LEARNED how to do this in less than 19 hours! They learned how to organize, work together, collaborate, write a song, type the song using WORD, conduct a business meeting, be on camera, create a story (beginning, middle, end), learned how to use Moviemaker with a storyboard, effects, and transitions. So the REVELATION is this: The age or level of my students is really not the issue. What I seek is the feeling of progress. I want to feel and know my students (and ME) are accomplishing something. This is why I seek a college level job. I want to be able to discuss, have a dialog, and see products. Even though this is a rare occurrence where I am at now, it happened this past few weeks. I am so proud of my students.
I can’t say anything more than “IT'S ALL GOOD!



I had to fuzz out the faces due to confidentiality. However, this is a great example of how kids want to learn. YES. I know it is improbable they will become rap stars.
That is OK though. They have learned a bunch of other skills that can be applied to life. This is a really good thing! They have accomplished this. For them, this is nearly a miracle.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Art Blog: Fine Line

I am walking a fine line right now. Emotionally I am in the clouds. My rational self is tugging on the string attached to my ankle trying to pull me back to earth. I am drifting down, but bob up and down with a fit of stubborn buoyancy. I have to land and plant my feet on terra firma. I just have to do this for my own good. I will explain.
If you have been reading this month’s posts, you know I am looking for a college teaching position. It might seem like this desire just popped into my head this summer. It did not. I have wanted this for a long, long while. However, I needed to stay at my current job until my daughter graduated from college. So three years ago when that happened, I immediately started applying for college jobs. I got a call from a woman at a local college. She interviewed me and was so excited. I was hired as an adjunct at a college right here in St. Petersburg! I was happy beyond words. It was a perfect situation. I could keep my day teaching job and get my foot back in the door at the higher ed level. I signed all the papers, went to their faculty orientation and started planning my curriculum. I was in seventh heaven. The department head told me they had planned on promoting the art classes within the college. If they did that, it didn’t work.
The class didn’t run due to low enrollment. The department head called and told me not to worry. They would run it again in the spring. I kept planning and imagining all the things we could do in this painting class. Spring came and I was excited for the schedule of classes to be published. I looked at it and quickly thumbed through the book to see my class. It wasn’t offered. I was devastated. I called the DH and asked “Why?” She just said they decided not to run art classes this semester. She forgot to call me to let me know. That was the last I heard from that college. It made no sense to me. It was so frustrating and confusing; I gave up trying to find a college job. Every time I would think about this whole scenario, it made me sick to my stomach. It took me this long to just get over it and move on.
So right now, I am walking a very fine line. It is like a thin, linear, emotional wall between being super positive and reality based. This is the first week of application reviews for a couple of my potential jobs. I don’t want to even think negatively about my job applications. However, I have to prepare myself mentally to be rejected. I have to see it as it is and not take it personally. I just have to keep applying for every job that interests me until I get THE job. It only takes one. I am not going to let rejection stop me this time. I have to keep the momentum going regardless.
Yes, Yes, YES!



So when this happens, say "So what!" Just keep applying Sheree. Keep moving forward. No matter how long it takes, your job will appear.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Art Blog: Blue Jays and Feathers

I don’t really have an affinity to birds. I lived with someone who had a parrot and it drove me crazy! One of my friends gave me a book about “BIRDS”. She said “Here, I know you like birds. You have them in your art all the time.” This is wrong. Well they might show up in my art, but it isn’t because I like them. They just pop up. I think it is because they represent freedom, flight, and a perspective that exemplifies the big picture. Another bird thing about me is I have subconsciously connected my father with feathers. Maybe this is weird, but whenever I see a feather on the ground, I say “Hello Daddy”. He died many years ago. Right after his death, I was meditating and a feather just dropped from the sky. From then on, I always associate feathers with him.
So today, I spent my day practicing. I have collected all kinds of interview questions that could be asked during an interview. I read them and then thought about my answers. I reread my resume. I took another look at my application materials. It was almost as if I was asking myself: “Sheree, are you still here?” I am. I couldn’t find any errors. This is good. Fresh eyes that find no mistakes allow me to realize I am doing the best I can do. This will alleviate the pressure if I get rejected.

Back to the birds. So I worked on the computer most of the day, fixing, researching, and planning my agenda. I took a break and went outside. There was this blue jay that kept hovering, and then landing near me. I looked him straight in the eye. I even spoke to him. I said “So, what do you think? Am I doing the right thing?” He cocked his head and just stared at me. He paused. Then he flew up to the highest wire there is. He turned and looked back. I looked high up and watched him. Then I smiled and yelled “Yeah, I know.”
Tomorrow when I go out on my bike hike or rollerblading (I haven’t decided yet! LOL), I will be thinking about all this. It is inevitable. I will see a feather on the ground. I will greet my Dad, look up, and say “I am doing it Daddy. I am finally doing it.” He knew what I wanted. He knew what I loved. My art and teaching skills come from him. He always knew what I wanted to be. He is looking down right now and smiling. I know when I get my new job I will find a feather somewhere on that campus.

I know it.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Art Blog: HONESTY

One of the most important things to me is being honest on this blog. Oh yes! I can be full of myself sometimes. I have a right to be confident. I have accomplished a lot in my life. I don’t have any regrets, really. There have been things that I wonder about. You know the “What if I had done this or that….” kind of things. However for the most part, I have stayed the course and done well.
Yet I have to be brutally honest. As I work to change my life, all kinds of old, tired insecurities are popping up. As I wrote this past week, I have been working extremely hard to make changes. I am looking at a weekend worth of hours working on the computer, writing, editing, revising, and making every word count while preparing new applications. I am not stupid. I know for sure what I am trying to do is very dicey. I mean the competition for the type of job I want is astronomical. Rationally, this reality does not faze me. I am going for it full force. However, there is the other side of the equation. The emotional side is bringing me to my knees. I think this is true because I fear the rejection.
As I researched and prepped for my applications, I heard that little voice. It is an awful voice:
“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” “YOU REALLY THINK THEY WILL HIRE YOU?” “MY GOODNESS, YOU ARE DELUSIONAL!” “WHY WOULD ANY COLLEGE ART DEPARTMENT EVEN CONSIDER YOU?” “YOU ARE TOO OLD!!” “YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH K-12 STUDENTS TOO LONG!” “YOUR EXHIBITION RECORD SUCKS!” “YADDA, YADDA, YADDA, SIS BOOM BA!”
None of this is true. It is just an inner voice trying to dissuade me from doing what I want and need to do. I call this voice the BLACK MUSE. I have written about it before. The black muse’s voice comes into my head whenever I am feeling fragile. I even did a little poster about him and it hangs in my studio. I wrote some text about who it is and what it says to me in my head. I can go long periods of time and never think of the Black Muse. It surfaced today.
Not only am I scared about moving away from my home and finding a new job but there is a part of me that wants to fight the Black Muse to prove it wrong. I hear myself yelling back in a strong voice:
“Shut up! You know I am so good at what I do!” “You know it!” “Any college would benefit from my teaching skill and abilities!” My dedication alone is something to prize!” “So just be quiet B Muse! BE QUIET!”





Click to for a better view of text

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Art Blog: Wake me up WHEN

I got home from work and wanted to dive in. I have to edit, update, and prepare my college classes syllabi for a few upcoming applications. I went through my folder and started to type. I just had to stop. After working feverishly on applications in the past two weeks, I am spent. I need to just stop for a moment. In fact, I felt as if I wanted to fall into a long sleep. As I drifted off, I spoke softly “PLEASE wake me up when this is over.” Yes, there is a part of me that wants all this to be done. I want to know I have a great job for which I am enthusiastic. I know it doesn’t work that way. I have to go through this process.

Tomorrow is Friday. My next application isn’t due until October 15. I will have plenty of time to polish up my application materials and rewrite my syllabi. I can do it this weekend. I just love getting them done and out of here. I do have a bit of time though. I can take a break to reenergize.

This weekend will be an event filled couple of days. I haven’t figured out what I want to do. I WILL work on syllabi. Also, I have been thinking about going on a rollerblading/walking on the beach picnic on Saturday. Sunday, a bike hike is in order. I just have to figure in my exercise/mental health activities. It will help me think about my strategies and be at peace with the waiting. Also, it will get me into shape to face review committees. Luck is when you are prepared to accept the opportunities set before you.
I want to be PREPARED.
:-)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Art Blog: It’s Happening

I had a wonderful day at work today. Most of my students are working on self portraits. One group is working on a Rap video. I am teaching them how to use the video camera and how to edit video using Moviemaker. They composed a rap song. They typed it out on using WORD and I helped them edit the verses. It is kind of cool. These are kids who will easily tell you where to go. They have been very civil to me so far this year. I have stuff they want, so they treat me pretty good. One called me "Little Mamma" today. I said, "No, that is going too far!" LOL LOL

I got home and was greeted by an email from a university in Tennessee. It was just a nice correspondence telling me my application was received. I sat there and stared at it. I realized this is really happening. I have polished off four, full application packets. The fifth is about to be mailed. Certain jobs I want more than others. However, I am not going there. I am letting things run the course. It is as if I am standing in front of a huge wall with a map of the USA printed on it. I am throwing darts wherever I see a full time college teaching job. I am going for it! The email I received today was proof. I am really doing this, FINALLY.

I have been working so fast and furiously on these applications, I can’t remember where I have applied. Thank goodness for my job applications timeline I made. It sits right here to remind me what is out, when the review period begins, and when the job starts. For fun, I just made another visual. I got a map of the USA and put a star on each state I have applied for a job. I will add more stars with each completed application. This might seem silly or juvenile. However, I am a visual person. I like to SEE things.
:-)

Monday, September 15, 2008

Art Blog: CREATIVE FERVOR

Creative energy takes on many forms. I was reminded of this during the past week of feverish energy being spent on applying for jobs. Sometimes I get into these creative zones. They are almost spooky. I can work all night long for hours on end. I am totally focused. I shun sleep. I am wired. This happens when I do my art. However, it also happens when I am doing other creative things. My point is that we sometimes discount the many manifestations of our own creative energies. For example, I haven’t painted in weeks. I feel a bit sad about that. However despite the lack of moving the brush around, I have been creative every day! How so? Well, I use the same type of energy when I do a multitude of things. When I am making videos, I use my creative energy and spirit. When I plan my teaching lessons, I am trying to be new and innovative. When I am applying for jobs, I am making my application so unique, it cannot be ignored.
This Saturday, I spent 16 hours on the computer doing job applications. While applying for higher education jobs, it is very easy to spend that much time dealing with application packets. Every college and university wants something just a little different. Also, it is important to make sure each application packet is tailored to the direct needs of the institution for which you are applying. There is no such thing as “one size fits all”. Consequently, it is very easy to spend hours and hours on each application. Easy.
I am like a woman possessed. After getting up at 6:00 AM on Saturday morning and shutting down my computer at midnight of the same day, I realized I had been experiencing a type of creative fervor similar to when I work on a series of my art. It is a wonderful feeling. You lose track of time. When you finally fall in a heap due to exhaustion, you awake the next morning with the realization that good work was done the previous day.
All this time and effort is worth it to me. I just finished polishing off another packet. I am going to have my name all over the place in academic circles. I am hoping just one person sees my stuff and says “She is the one to hire!”
Oh geesh. I just hope!!!!!


I AM CLAIMING IT! I am claiming my future as an artist / educator. No matter how long it takes, I WILL be
PROFESSOR SHEREE!
I will.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Art Blog: IT IS MY TIME!

I cannot describe how much I want a college teaching job. It is almost beyond words. This is what I had always set out to become. As soon as I began my university coursework, that was my PLAN. I was going to be Sheree the Artist/Professor. Well, you have heard the saying “We make plans and God laughs!” Well, I truly don’t believe God is laughing right now. I just can’t believe that. I just can’t. I want this so bad every part of my body aches with desire. God knows this.

I was speaking with one of my current colleagues yesterday and trying to explain why I am working so hard to make this happen. It is so ironic because I never, ever wanted to be an “art teacher” in a school system. However, life happens. I took the job for all the appropriate, sensible, rational reasons. It was secure. The job came with benefits. I had a history of being a good teacher. Also, finally my daughter had health insurance. At the time I signed on the contract dotted line, I was happy and sad all at the same time. I felt like I had gone against my own life desires. Yet, I did what was best for my daughter and me at the time.

When I was talking to my friend yesterday, I told her that the past years have been good to me, but I always felt sad and longed for my true profession. I explained “IT IS MY TIME NOW.” My daughter is grown. I have no other family obligations. I live to work. I have many fabulous years ahead of me. I can go and do anything I want to do. I am super, duper qualified to teach at the higher education level. I am cranking out job applications like they are burning my fingers. In fact, I keep hearing Dr. Phil’s voice saying “If you want a full time job, you have to work full time looking for that job!” Well, I am doing that. I was up at 6:00 AM typing away.
This is all I can do. I can reach out and put my credentials out there. The rest is up to the Universe. Please God. This is not funny anymore. Tell my angels to get to work on this. Please.


This is one of my favorite songs. I thought of it this morning when I got up to work on my job applications. I have lots of ANGELS.
I am calling them ALL right now!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Art Blog: FOCUS

“On that which you focus will come to fruition”
The Wizzle

This has been one of my mantras for years. I know this to be so true. If I really focus, think, and do to promote a cause, things happen. They just do. When I wrote about my job panic the other day, I just let “Dee-troit Sheree” handle it. I stepped back and let her roll. Oh my goodness, what a difference a few days makes.

Yes. Applications flew. My entire computer room is “Job Central” I made a list. Not only did I make a list of desirable activities to complete in a timely manner, but I also made a timeline that records my job applications status. It is kind of cool. I can now look at the jobs for which I have applied and where I am at in the process. If the application is just out there, it is “completed”. If I have received a results correspondence, it is “rejected”. If I haven’t finished the entire application process, it is designated “in progress”. I need this. I can visualize where I stand. Also, I can see my energy exemplified in a simple list of job hunting activities. I can see I am not a slacker.
This is a life process. Even if you aren’t trying to find a job, you can apply a lot of my words to whatever you want to change. For example, a few years ago I was upset because I wanted to be in more exhibitions. I set up a “command center”. I put up index cards all over my wall which stated each show I had entered or applied for each month. Since this was my FOCUS, I was in more shows during that time period than ever. YEP!
Right now my focus is creating a new life. It is coming. I can see it. I will be teaching in a college classroom sooner or later. I am prepared to be patient. I am willing to do the work.
I am smiling because I know it is on its way.
FOCUS. It works every time!



When I was going through college student work examples, I came across this pic. Yes, she needs to work on the technicalities of the figure, but this self portrait made me laugh then and now. That is a sign of great art. I have an emotive response and it expresses what I am feeling now. Good job!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Art Blog: Teacher Teacher!

This is almost spooky. I got up at 4:00 AM. I fed the dog and while waiting for him to do his business, I sat outside and pondered my accomplishments for the past 24 hours. Besides nursing a terrible headache and various stress related aches, I applied for an arts administration job and nearly finished the application packet for a college teaching position. As I made a mental list of new strategies to win my fight for a new life, it occurred to me. This is what I WANT. This is what will make me HAPPY. I love teaching, but not in the environment of my current job. I am not going to apply for any K-12 school system jobs. I need to move on and explore new horizons. So, I am only going to apply for positions I actually find interesting, exciting, and promote my own well being. Then I wandered into the computer room and I looked down my email list. I saw one of my “Notes from the Universe” emails. Here is what it said:
For those who ponder and wonder and wrestle with the idea of what it is they really want, I have an answer that each would wholeheartedly agree with: "HAPPINESS."
And for those who ponder and wonder and wrestle with exactly what will bring them true happiness, I have an answer that each would wholeheartedly disagree with: "Just do something, do anything, as soon as possible."


Ha! That is a example of synchronicity! I just looked at that statement and said “You got that right, Universe!” So I forge on. I am aiming at specific targets. I am planning intentionally. One thing I was reminded of yesterday is that I am a really, really great teacher. As I scanned slides of student work from my adjunct faculty days, I was amazed. I kept thinking, “Sheree, this is the work of college freshman and sophomores! How did you get them to come so far, so fast?” I was able to do this because I am a good teacher whether I like it or not. LOL LOL
So, let’s go with the flow.


Here are some examples of my student’s college foundation coursework. Good Job!

Project: Scale/Proportion

Project: Trompe l'oeil

Project: Self Portrait
At college level, I have taught art foundation courses: Drawing 1-2, Color Theory/Design 1-2, and Life Drawing. These are not overly exciting courses. They are the basics needed to move on to the “meat” of any art program. Yet, I am still proud of my students. When they leave me, they have what it takes to be any kind of artist they want to be. They are prepared!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Art Blog: Free Fall

“Leap and the net will appear.”
Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

I am one HOT MESS! Waiting for my new life to arrive is very frustrating. I can feel myself vibrating with too much nervous energy. Oh, joy! Panic attack city! I have been there too many times before. After having a sad day at work yesterday, I woke up this morning and EVERYTHING hurt. Remember when you were little and didn’t want to go to school. You would start explaining symptoms: “My throat hurts; I have a stomach ache; my eyes burn; my hands are shaking! I am going to throw up!! Etc. etc.” Well, I am the mom now. I told myself to stay home. While I mended and licked my wounds, I continued to look for a more appropriate, challenging form of employment.

I have to get my act together! One positive thing is I won’t actually have a meltdown. Nowadays, when I feel what I feel right now, my alter ego “DEE-troit Sheree” arrives and slaps the crap out of me! She wails on me while yelling “Get it together woman!! I am not going to let you do this to yourself! SNAP OUT OF IT!

It is so clear to me what is going on in my head. I am in a state of limbo. I am “trying” to change my life, but I am getting tired of waiting for things to change. Yet there is a Catch-22. I am so busy with work and so anxiety ridden over the idea of change; I am having a hard time moving forward. I am paralyzed with FEAR.
“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” Ok, DEE-troit Sheree. I hear you. You don’t have to yell! I will stop it. As I take this little time out, I will make a list. It will be my “Take Action List”. Maybe if I have the steps I need to take on paper, it will lead the way. Also, it will take my mind off the status quo. OK. This is a start. OK. I will do that.


“Hey Sheree”.
“What DEE-troit Sheree? Why are you whispering?”
Dee-troit Sheree leans in close to my ear and in a soft voice she says:
“You know you are going to be just fine. Things are changing right now. You might not see it, but I do. Just calm down, be patient, and move along. Besides, you know for sure, I am here to catch you!”

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Art Blog: The DREAM

Speaking of dreams and waking up, it is very interesting I had one of THOSE dreams this week. You know the kind. It is so real and vivid, it seems like it really happened. Also, these special dreams always have psychological implications that spook you. I take dreams with a grain of salt. I realize they are just a rehash of my waking moments. Our minds play funny tricks through dreams as they reinterpret our past, present, and future. However, the last time I had one of these super intense dreams was just before I moved to Florida. It that dream, I was in the bottom of a deep, dry well. I would look up and could see only a round hole of light above my head. I kept clawing at the dirt sides trying to climb up to the light. I woke up before I succeeded. That morning I did a drawing of this image. I can’t find this sketch right now or I would show it to you.
This dream was so significant to me because I was in a very desperate time in my life. I didn’t have a job and I was scraping by financially. I started to do day work, just to get some bucks. The temporary agency would call me and I would report to this or that place for a day of work. A few days after the dream, I was told to go to this factory. It was dark, dank, and just awful. As I packed boxes of wigets, through teary eyes I looked straight up overhead. There was one, round skylight with light streaming through it. I was living my dream.
The dream I had this week was just as haunting. I was standing on a cliff. My toes were over the edge. As I looked out into the canyon below, it wasn’t clear what was there. A white mist covered everything. I couldn’t make out what was there. I just kept looking down at my feet, then out at the fog. I have plenty of interpretations for this dream. Ha! I am just wondering if it will express itself in a real life situation. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm………….

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Art Blog: My WANT

So I have spoken about designing a life. I think about this every day. I ask myself "What do you WANT Sheree?", everyday. I think BIG too. Shoot! If you are going to dream, why not dream for the ultimate! Some might dream of big houses, expensive cars, or other monetary bonanzas. My dream is very different.
I own an old Georgia O’Keefe book that has a picture of Georgia standing alone on a sand dune in New Mexico. I cannot include that pic here because the book is at work. However, you can picture it in your mind. Her frail, tiny body stands dark against a grey background of mounting sand. She is alone.
That is my dream. I would LOVE to find a little spot on earth away from everyone and live the rest of my life making art. Being totally alone sounds glorious to me. I could go years without speaking to anyone. Yes, I know she had assistants. That is cool. I would hire a worker or two. That would be fine as long as I could tell them what they needed to do to get paid and then leave. The fewer words exchanged the better. That would make me very happy.
I know this sounds kind of weird, but it is the truth. I am just so over people and society, I just want to live the rest of my days alone and away from everyone. The only challenge is how I would finance this self imposed isolation. I will have to think more about that part.


I have never been an avid fan of O’Keefe’s art. I totally admire her life. She was a wondrous woman. I would like to be like her. I would love to find a desolate place to live out my life.
Alone. Quiet. PEACEFUL.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Art Blog: Designing A LIFE

This is beyond cool. I have been working so hard doing some inner "work". I am trying to figure out what I really, really WANT in my life. I hope I have at least twenty years left. So I want to be very specific and plan what I want those years to look like.
For those of you who don’t know, I have two blogs. I have an art blog and a fitness blog. Likewise, I have two YouTube channels. I have my art “wizzlewolf” channel and my “littlesheree” fitness channel. I HATE almost every wizzlewolf video. I do like my art blog, but my art videos suck. In fact, I just went through my art channel and deleted all the most irritating videos. I can’t do this for my fitness videos. I really like most of them. This is very weird.

I wrote on my fitness blog about how I was “designing my life”. In other words, I am taking the pulse. I am trying to figure out what I really want in my life. I am trying to figure out who I want to be. There is something about littlesheree I LOVE. She is so cool. She goes out and lives life. Yet, wizzlewolf stands back. She is afraid. Her videos are boring. She is hiding something. There isn’t a true life energy in her art videos. She holds back because she fears. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. This is so interesting.

So part of my “Designing My Life” campaign must include helping wizzlewolf to merge with littlesheree. For some reason, it is easy for littlesheree to go out and just grab life by the tail. Wizzlewolf is so frightened to do this. She has her art reputation to uphold, you know?
So, one of my new life goals is to make a wizzlewolf video that is true. I want this video to be fun, honest, and full of life, just like a littlesheree videos. Yep! I don’t know how I will do it or how long it will take. However, it is time to combine my personalities. My true self has to include and embrace my artist’s self.
FINALLY!!! WHO-HAAAA!!!


ALERT! IF THIS VIDEO STALLS OR IS CHOPPY, CLICK TWICE TO GO TO MY YOUTUBE PAGE. CLICK THE BLUE LINK UNDER THE VIDEO SCREEN "WATCH IN HIGH QUALITY".
I LOVE HER! Now, my goal is to try to find her in my art life. She is there. I just have to find her. Sheree the ARTIST, where are you???????????????

Monday, September 1, 2008

Art Blog: DUMB People

I realize this might seem like a contradiction to the philosophy included in yesterday’s post. I did mention atree’s take on those who just don’t understand. She said we all are in different places in our lives and have our own set of tools which we use to interpret the world. I agreed. However, when the misunderstanding is so outrageous, it is hard for me to be so rational.
Case in point:
On Friday, the St. Petersburg Times ran a story, ”Struggling Gulf Coast Museum of Art to close”. This is such sad, sad news. The Gulf Coast Museum is one of our best visual art venues. The work shown there is far superior and more relevant than the majority of exhibitions in this area. The fact that they are struggling and are closing the doors is disturbing.
What is even more startling are some of the comments included after the article: (Some allude to the sculpture shown in the article photo.)

Photo credit: [JIM DAMASKE | Times]

by don Aug 29, 2008 2:04 PM
Soooo, I have a stack of old 4x4's in the back. Didn't know I was an artiste. If that is an example of art, the place deserves to close. Come on!
by LDH Aug 29, 2008 2:04 PM
That pile of steel beams hardly represents 'art'. Who couldn't put together giant pick-up sticks? If that is what the entire museum is representing then no wonder no one is interested.
by Fred Aug 29, 2008 2:03 PM
I visited there and it wasn't worth the effort. What they call art other call welded junk. Turn the place into a natural history museum.
by PH Mom Aug 29, 2008 2:03 PM
I call that art Ker-Plunk minus the marbles.


After reading these comments, my first reaction was GET ME OUT OF HERE!! Then my ears started ringing with a constant hum of “dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb……” Then, I came to my senses and realized these comments could be made by citizens of just about any city. Let’s face it. There is a huge portion of our society who don’t understand art. They don’t care about it. They have no interest in it. It is not part of their lives. I am not sure that will ever change. In fact, I think this zeitgeist might be expanding.

So now what? Well, as artists we have to keep speaking with our work. We have to embrace those who support our work. We have to try to help those who do not understand to at least think twice about the world of art.