Thursday, January 8, 2009

Art Blog: Being a Witness

Words from the UNIVERSE email:

“Next time you make a wish, Wizzle, wish for what is, because really and truly, things don't get much better than this. There is a purpose, a plan, and a reason for all things. What doesn't make sense, will make sense. You are exactly where you should be; your challenges are what they should be; your rewards are what they should be; and the best is yet to come. Time has served you well. Love is in the air. And you're looking mighty good in the light that now surrounds you. A toast to life... to you... to us... The Universe”

SHUT UP! So does this mean I am not going to get a new job?

When I was a teenager, I was in a group of kids who would hang out at this park outside of Detroit. There was a place called “Beer Hill”. We would all meet there after school. This was during the post hippie days. We were all chillin and just having fun. This was during the “Kent State” days. If you don’t know what that is, look it up. This post will be more understandable. Anyway, one early evening I sat right on the top of Beer Hill with hundreds of other kids. All of a sudden police cars screeched to a halt at the bottom of the hill. Simultaneously, policemen in riot gear came running over the back of the hill. They carried weapons and wore full armor. They proceeded to push, hit, aim, and beat kids all the way down the hill. I didn’t move. I just sat there.

It was almost like a surrealistic dream. I didn’t move. All the commotion happened around me. I didn’t feel the need to run because I was “holding” nothing and I wasn’t messed up enough for them to prove anything. So I sat and watched. After the sting and as the dust floated to the ground, I made my way down to the parking lot. I saw friends in the back of patrol cars looking at me like caged animals. There was such sadness in their eyes. I went home that night with an aching sadness in my heart.

I tell this story because it relates to the way I feel right at this moment. I got a message a friend lost his job today. It is all about the economy. He was cut. Also, I got a message from a wonderful person who noticed my accomplishments. She praised me to the point of making me realize I am not as crazy as I thought I was.

Yes, I have done a lot. Thank GOD somebody finally noticed!

I feel exactly like I felt that night on Beer Hill. I feel like things are just happening around me. I am a witness. I feel lucky I have my job. I feel lucky I have my life. I feel luckier by the minute. All this economic turmoil makes me realize that I am still sitting on that hill with horror happening around me. I am not sure how to deal with it other than to just keep moving just like I did back then.

“Imprisoned” (Detail) by Sheree Rensel
Click pic to see full painting

So what in the hell? Is it my day or something? Check this out. I just got an email from one of my high school students. Oh yeah. I want to leave this place and then I get this? Oh pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze. STOP IT UNIVERSE!!!! LOL
The email:

Your da best mz rensil....LOL

OK. OK. He sent me another one with a kitty picture. I will not add that photo. The puppy was enough to send me over the edge. I have to think about this. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

1 comment:

deb said...

I seem to be running down the hill, my husband went back to work full time this week after being laid of for two weeks over the holidays, only to be cut back to 4 days again next week... so now I am praying my second class runs this semester and thinking about getting a third job just in case. Oh well we have survived worse and we have each other. On a happier note what a sweet puppy message!