Sunday, June 14, 2009
Art Blog: NUMBING Down
We all do it to one degree or another. We numb ourselves with food, drink, drugs, TV, computers, sex, etc. etc. I am an equal opportunity numer. I can space out easily and often. I eat too much. I drink too much. I watch too much TV. I am on the computer way too much. Luckily all these mind numbing activities don’t occur all at the same time or I would be a blithering idiot by now. Lately, I have been ultra aware of these destructive behaviors. I can actually hear the clock ticking in my brain and see clearly the damage it does to my being. This has to stop.
This week has been an emotional humdinger. As reported my boss (principal) was fired. This shook my world literally. I loved this person. I am so sad for her. Also, I hate change and hate working for new bosses even more. This is why it made me so crazy. In fact, I can’t even remember last Monday or Tuesday. I totally vegged out and created a self induced state of temporary insanity. By Wednesday, I started licking my wounds. I did tend to numb down during any given hour, but at least I went about living. By Thursday, I became philosophical. Things will be fine. I got back to my art life.
The end of the week came and I was doing well. I was busy working on my art and starting to feel whole again. I actually felt some optimism. Yesterday morning while working in my studio, I got a call from a colleague. She told me Friday “they” canned our assistant principal too! HOLY MACARONI! I am not going to miss this person. However, I am not looking forward to an entirely new administrative regime. As she spoke to me on the phone, I felt like I was being drenched in buckets of ice water.
Shortly after that, I left my studio. NUMBING DOWN time emerged. I ate, drank, and televisioned myself into oblivion. Luckily, I didn’t do too much damage. I managed to get up and move this morning. However, I sat in front of the computer for three straight hours accomplishing nothing but wasting time and brain cells. I am going to post this blog entry and go to my studio. I have to get to work and snap out of this daze. I know better than this. I am too old and wise. I know that numbing down accomplishes nothing because when you do snap out of it, reality is still there staring you in the face.
Off to the studio!
Meanwhile, I am wondering how I have been an artist so long and never used an electric miter saw. Can you believe this lame set up? I struggle cutting wood all the time. I always use hand saws. Is this old school or what? Why I torture myself is beyond me.
Note to self: GO AND BUY A MITER SAW! Old dogs can learn new tricks. Stop this madness Sheree. Geesh! It is 2009. We have electricity now! LOL