Monday, August 17, 2009

Art Blog: Passion

This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I had no idea how horrible it could be to see a friend slowly decline and die. It just never occurred to me that any life could change at any given moment. Even though I might occasionally complain about one thing or another, I have to admit overall, my art life is pretty damn good. Nothing prepared me for the changes this week. I didn’t want anything like this to happen. Right now, the former status quo seems pretty good. I wish I could go back and make things the way I want them to be. I can’t. This is a part of life.

All this is so weird. There is a little voice in my head that says “For goodness sake Sheree, it was a dog! Get over it!” Yes, it was a dog, but that dog and I spent more than 4000 days together. He was my little, art studio buddy. Since my daughter left home about 5 years ago, it was all about me and him. We did everything together. We were an art team. This is why I feel like I am going crazy right now. I keep hearing my own voice yelling “Studio, Studio!” You see that was the alert that I was going out to make art. When he heard those words, he came running and almost knocked the studio door down. He knew what that meant. I keep thinking that he is in another room and I want to go look for him. Every time I hear any kind of ticking sound outside or on TV, I look up. I think it is his nails tapping on the hard wood floors. When I turn on the vacumn, he doesn’t freak out. There is no one to bark at the mailman. When I am out in the yard, I keep thinking he well come out from behind a tree. It takes a second for me to snap back to reality. He is gone now.

I had one really great experience this week. I had already bought a primo ticket to a Dave Matthews Band concert. This is a ritual for me. I go every year. This is MY band. However, I sat here on Wednesday morning and didn’t want to go. I finally picked myself up and went. It was really great.

The thing I thought about most at the concert was how DMB has such passion. Every member of the group is a true artist. They all exude PASSION. As I watch videos of their performances, I realize this is really what it is all about. Life can suck. Life is what it is. The most important thing is to pick yourself up and muster the PASSION for life that we all need.
I am trying to do that right now.

You don't have to watch any video.
Take my word.
They work up a sweat and take no prisoners.
They are my kind of people!!!


Terry ( said...


To people that don't understand the connection between people and their pets I would agree, Gizmo was just a dog to them.

For those of us that do understand he was a faithful companion who experienced all those things with you that no living person will ever know about, those things late at night when the only person that can really understand you is your pet.

What you are proving to me is that Gizmo is really still there. He is just not making as much noise and does not need to go out to the bathroom as much.

I hope you embrace that he is still there and as time goes on the part of that presence that can make you sad will fade and only the happy thoughts will remain. That's the way it works.

I know you know this because you are smart, like me. I just wanted to remind you.


gilda snowden said...

Sheree, what I have always loved about you is that your passion and power has always been evident-----in your work, in your relationships, and in your lifestyle.

I am glad you wrote about passion....

namastenancy said...

He was a loving companion who gave you unconditional love and support. He was at your side for years and maybe was, in some ways, your alter ego. You've lost a chunk of your past and a loving friend - you will get over it but only in due time. And when the time is right, I hope that another loving little buddy will come to fill up that empty space in your life.

JafaBrit's Art said...

I understand!