Sunday, August 30, 2009

Art Blog: The PERFECT Storm

Sometimes I make myself laugh. Sheree World is a very funny place sometimes. Last month, I decided to do my “Me Bootcamp”. Little did I know that all hell would break out just after the announcement of this new phase of self-improvement. First my dog died. Then I returned to my day job and found that for the first time in my life changes have made going to work nearly unbearable. I am fighting tooth and nail with the symptoms of depression. This is wearing me out both physically and mentally. Yesterday I realized I am coping by just zoning out. I laid on the couch and watched television reruns all day yesterday. However as night fell, I had had enough. I went to bed early and must have dreamt about my survival skills. In fact as soon as I woke up, I thought “This is a PERFECT STORM”.

I have mentioned here before how the Universe hits you on the head to help you learn life lessons. WELL, I am being hit on the head with a huge, heavy mallet right now. No wonder I feel dazed. This morning I remembered a collage I created called “Hurricane Brain”. I wondered if I had a picture of it on my computer. When I searched I found these words from one of the first posts on this blog back in January of 2007:

“It is time of emotional drama. I am not talking about “screaming, pushing, punching the walls” kind of drama. Oh no, I don’t allow that into my life. However, I have been experiencing an emotional drama of the introverted ilk. My mind is the eye of the hurricane. Thoughts run wild while my rational mind stands by with a lasso. I am trying very hard to rein things in right now.
Life passages are awesome albeit crappy. Those moments in which you see the crossroads cause unexplainable distress and pain, but I have learned to say “THANK YOU”. I have to be appreciative and know the Universe will provide as it always has. These times of confusion end up being the times that force action into play. In fact, I am so glad for the abundance in my life. I have been so fortunate. I have had so much success and good fortune. However, that doesn’t stop me from striving to be the best artist I can be. That is why I was born and put on this earth. I just have to keep moving forward!”


Those words and feelings were the impetus to start blogging again. It helped too. I have accomplished so much in the last two and a half years. There has been a whole lot of good going on here. In fact, the trauma of that time has been fixed. Now, I have a new set of challenges.

I keep thinking of my good friend Terry who is an awesome person and testament to self determination. He always signs his comments and emails with the words “STAY STRONG”. Last night I thought of those words, but I realized in order to stay strong, I have to BE STRONG first. This is my boot camp assignment this week. I have to start building up my emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental strength again. I will need this power for the new changes coming. I will get through this perfect storm. I need to keep moving and steering my own ship until the winds subside and I see the glint of the sun coming through the clouds. I can do this.



“Hurricane Brain”
Sheree Rensel
Mixed Media Collage
24” X 24”
Click pic for detail view

6 comments:

namastenancy said...

Here's hoping that your boat can carry you through the "perfect storm" to safety. But damn, don't you sometimes wish life would stop teaching you these "lessons?"

Sheree Rensel said...

Nancy,
I kind of like the lessons. I don't like the way it feels sometimes. However if it wasn't for the life lessons, I would still being making the same mistakes I did 20 or 30 years ago!!! Thank goodness those lessons have been learned!!
:-)
Sheree

Terry (kettlebellguy.com) said...

I am seeing the fighting spirit bubble back up in you. Get strong, be strong and stay strong.

Terry

Sheree Rensel said...

Terry,
THANK YOU for being my voice of reason. It is so weird, I hear you saying stuff in my head all the time. Now that is very scary!!!! LOL LOL LOL
I am really going to put energy in toughing up this week. I feel like a wilted flower. This time I have really been knocked for a loop!! You know me well enough to know, I will bounce back.

gilda said...

You have always bounced back, and with a vengence! The great thing about that bounce back is that it deposits you so much further ahead than you were before!

gilda said...

{Sheree, I'm leaving this post here because I can't get through on the TWITTER show blog}

Sheree, This show looked so great! Congrats to you and all of the artists who worked so hard to bring it to fruition! I wish I could have been there to video the reception and the art for my You Tube channel!

You all Rock!