Thursday, October 29, 2009

Art Blog: Technicolor!

I know for sure some of you will not understand this post. That is OK. Maybe you can glean information from my experience. I remember when we watched TV and movies in black and white. I remember this because I lived through it.

I have a feeling the movie “Wizard of Oz” will be the subject of many of my future posts. It seems I have come to the conclusion this movie is like a metaphor for my life. I have known that for a long time. Check out my ”Emerald City” installation at the Michigan Gallery back in the 80’s.

I have always related to Dorothy. She was on a quest for truth and self realization. I respect this and relate to it wholeheartedly. Lately, these thoughts, beliefs, and sensations have been coming to the surface full force. It doesn’t surprise me.
In the past ten months, I have had a hard time. One thing after another has happened. Yes, my dog died as many of you know. However, his death was just one thing added to a mix of hellish events. Being a depressive by nature, I am actually shocked I am still able to type this.

The only thing that keeps me going right now is my art and an unexpected job change. Every Wednesday, I have to travel and teach another school population. This is so strange, but true to me. I have worked at the same place for 16 years. This new situation boggles my mind. However, I truly believe the UNIVERSE gave me this change to make me see life in Technicolor again. In other words, I have seen life in past months in values of white, gray, and black. It hasn’t been a pretty world. When I was driving home yesterday from my other job, I saw things in color again. It was just like when Dorothy opened the door leading to Munchkin Land. The sensation took me aback. I felt it. As I drove the streets of downtown Saint Petersburg, I saw color again. TECHNICOLOR!

I guess this is just a simple message to all of you who experience depression. I want to tell you that no matter how terrible you feel at any given moment, some tiny thing can happen and change all of your perceptions. There is HOPE! You can and will see the world in TECHNICOLOR again.
I know. I have.

Just wait. The world will be colorful and bright again. It will!
You just have to be patient.

1 comment:

namastenancy said...

Oh boy , do I "hear" you on this one. Years ago, I had a really serious nervous breakdown. For about two years, my life was consumed with overwhelming anxiety, counting compulsions and an inability to sleep - among other things. I don't remember the world being black and white; I just don't remember the world at all because I was struggling so hard not to go completely under. Little by little, the anxiety lifted and I could breathe again, think again, enjoy life again. But I realized that my balance can be fragile and I do whatever I can go guard against being overwhelmed. But you can only guard against so much. Sometimes the world is throwing b-s at you faster than you can throw it back. It seems to me that you have a ton of BS thrown at you in the last months and you've had to fight to keep your balance. Now, there's a welcome change of pace, a place to breathe again and recoup. Be patient and loving with yourself and don't let the bastards get you down!