Sunday, June 20, 2010

Art Blog: Come Back Angels!

“If you chase away the demons. the angels will fly away too."

“Dad and Sheree”

Happy Father’s Day!
For me, this is the hardest holiday. I love my dad so much. He died years ago. We are so alike. Sometimes, when I laugh, tell a story, or look down at my hands, I pause. I remind myself of my own father. Even my "creative" genes come from him. Every Father’s Day, I do a kind of denial dance. I want to remember, but I don’t. It is just all too weird and painful. I think I act like I don’t remember for the sake of my own survival.

This morning when I woke up, it hit me. Father’s Day! I told myself then to just keep busy and don’t think about it. I refused to get upset. Chasing away the demons is my specialty. However today, my aunt sent me some pictures of my dad, I have never seen before. Then, I got another unexpected email from a mystery relative. That is when I crashed.

I am fine now and busy licking my wounds, but it is so interesting to me. I find it amazing that our pasts drive our lives no matter how old we get. Every time I think I have it together, something happens that proves I am not as strong as I think I am. Like I have said before, our lives are full of lessons. I guess this is one I still have to learn. I will keep trying until I get it right. In the meantime, I want to wish a happy holiday to all of the dads out there. I want you to realize your children will remember everything you do and say for decades to come.
It will affect their lives.

Happy Father’s Day!
Grandpa, Daddy (left boy), and Uncle (right boy)
I have to teach myself to remember and appreciate the GOOD parts of my past so the angels will stay around.

P.S. It is so funny I got to see that top photo today. Look at the expression on my face. I wasn't a happy camper in that photo. In fact, the expression on my face then seems to be the same one I have today!!!
Oh geesh!!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL

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