Monday, December 20, 2010


The older I get, the more I realize how I am the same regardless of my age. Of course I have learned and see things differently now. However if I paid attention when I was younger, I would have been able to predict some of my future. Old habits die hard. I might be wiser, but I do some of the same ole things to this day.

One old habit is I HIDE. When I was a young girl, I would escape the world. I really didn’t like reality. It was just too harsh and disappointing. I would find a quiet spot and make stuff. I would ignore everything that was going on around me, turn off external sensory mode, avoid people, and focus in on what I was creating at any given moment. Of course, I rarely had many friends. Yet, that didn’t matter to me. If I was happy all alone making my stuff, I was all good! World be damned!

When I was a teenager, I had my own bedroom which could of, should have been called a studio. I would build, glue, paint, tear, draw, write, and do all things creative while life went on outside my bedroom door. It was my haven. I loved it in there.

Now I am all grown up and I am still in that bedroom. It has just transformed into a whole house. I get home each day from my day job, lock the doors, and shut out the world once again. I never go anywhere except to Office Depot and the grocery story. Both of these places are a half mile from home. I go days without talking to a human being. I could fill my time all alone easily. I have things to do!

Lately, this isolation has been bothering me. I have spoken of it before. I gotta get myself out there or at least make some kind of attempt to be part of the world before I die. Intentionally, I am setting myself up for this challenge. Recently, I have volunteered at a local gallery. I have another gallery sitting gig on Wednesday. Also, I am actually applying to be in show across the bay. OMG!! It is in TAMPA!! Yikes. That means if I get any work accepted I have to drive across THAT bridge! Sheree, get over it!! LOL

I have no idea why I have chosen to live within a 5 mile radius of my house for more than ten years (except for my once a year jaunts to Tampa to see Dave Matthews Band and Orlando to go to the FL Ed Technology Conference). I do those two trips because I want it bad. Otherwise, I guess I am in my comfort zone. I am safe here. Even though I love being alone and never get lonely, I see the weirdness in this habit. This is why I am trying to do something about it. Then yesterday, I ordered Chinese food. This was my fortune:

I almost fell over when I read this.
I guess I gotta get “on the road again”!

1 comment:

deb said...

sounds to me like you'd better pack those bags... how funny coincidence is - no?