Sunday, December 4, 2011

Art Blog: Having it ALL?

It is hard for me to write right now. So many things are buzzing around my head. I signed the check for my LAST month of studio 2 rent. I am being pulled in every direction. I LOVE my downtown studio, but in many ways I can’t see the point. For economic reasons alone (Suze Orman would kill me!), it isn't a feasible decision to keep it. I can’t get into all the other details, but just like the rest of my art life, it is time for a change.

This is easy in one way. I have two studios. One is my downtown St. Pete Studio 2. The other is my Studio 1. This one is attached to my house. I actually work at my home studio more. It is far more convenient and practical. Yet, there is this little voice inside me that continues to whine. I am ignoring it. I have signed the check and put the note in the envelope saying “I am not renewing my lease.”

It is so weird and ironic. I had this exact studio in 2001. After a year, I left because I bought a house with an attached studio space. I couldn’t afford both. Last December I realized I had the studio at my house, but I have become a hermit of an artist. I did participate in art exhibitions and lived out my art life, but I was not part of any art scene at all. This is why I rented my downtown studio. I wanted to be a part of some kind of art community. I wanted to be a bit more social and be more visual in my St. Pete home. I am not sure my year long experiment was a success. Yes, I have made a few art friends and contacts. Yet, I confirmed that I am not a social creature and that will never change. I love the quiet and loneliness of my home studio. I don’t regret my ArtLofts experience at all. I learned about myself. I am just fine, do quite well, and in some ways do better living my eremite lifestyle.

In fact, this is one of the reasons I decided to ditch studio 2. I am what I am. I like being alone and that is OK. I keep saying I am looking for a new life. Downsizing, looking for a new job, prepping for changes and most importantly, taking care of me is paramount. This little change will help to open the door to new things to come into my art life. This is what makes Sheree healthy and happy.

“Red Cross”
Acrylic on Canvas
10” x 8”
Sheree Rensel
(Click pic for detail)


Redpaint said...

Hi - I loved reading this - so lively and thoughtful. I have been a lot happier in my art and life generally since admitting that I am quite a loner (not entirely, of course) but I am self sufficient and need lots of time to myself, especially when painting. Sometimes the difficult thing is not putting that into action, but admitting it to yourself and therefore others. A studio at home sounds wonderful, and let's face it,if you get an idea, you can work on it immediately which can't be bad!

Erika Allison said...

Love your Red Cross painting! Tough decision to make concerning Studio 2! Pros and cons ....We always hope we're making the "right" choices.

I've been following your journey. I think we're all on a journey. There's something to be learned from each tale.

Onward ho, Sheree!

Sheree Rensel said...

(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) to red paint. THANK YOU for you comment! I know working at my home studio is best and always has been. I was hoping for some kind of artist friendship or kindred spirit to appear during this current venture out into the world. That didn't happen. So be it.
I will be fine.
Thanks again!

Sheree Rensel said...

You sure have been following me!! Every time I look up or do stuff, ERIKA is right there cheering me on. I do notice and appreciate you with all my heart. Also, I totally respect your opinions, as well as your art.
Thank you so much for being my art friend. SEE. I have one art friend whether I have studio 2 or NOT!! LOL LOL LOL LOL
((((((((((HUGS TO ERIKA))))))))))

JafaBrit's Art said...

I have struggled with the idea of an outside studio and keep coming back to the expense. I think you have to trust your inner voice :) and respect that you are who you are and enjoy it that way.

cheers from jafabrit

Bob Ragland said...

Sheree, the art life is all about trial and error. Just think of the money you will save. If you still have the dough, put it in a cookie jar. This can be your rejection deflector.
I work alone all the time, I go out to visit friends some times.
You'll do just fine.
The art life ain't easy.
We are just compelled to do it.

namastenancy said...

Wow - does this speak to me! I just gave notice on my "outside" studio for many of the same reasons that you have on yours. In may case, it's not only the expense but my health. I have asthma and the dust and toxins in the space were making me sick. I also have never fit in with the women who manage the space. When I asked to rent a better space that opened up, I was told that I wasn't a "good enough or serious enough artist to deserve a better space." Those spaces were reserved for those whom they approved of -- and obviously I wasn't on the list. I have been going back and forth over making this decision for some time. But sometimes life comes along and really beats you over the head to let you know that it's way past time to move on. I never found the supportive community that I sought. Unfortunately, I found the same kind of back stabbing politics that I dealt with when I worked at the local medical center. So, who needs it? We don't. We are artists and we don't need no "fuc.... badge" to prove it!