Saturday, December 31, 2011


- break up, separate
-to change by disintegration
-to reduce by analysis
-to separate, to cause resolution
- to deal with successfully : clear up
-to find an answer
- make clear or understandable

As the fireworks boom and the new year starts, I should be mimicking Chicken Little. “The sky is falling; The sky is falling!!!!!” I am not going to do that though. I am sitting here all relaxed and waiting for the ball to drop. The ball will drop in Times Square for the New Year, but not drop on my life. I just know this to be true.
Rather than make grandiose statements about what I want to happen or not to happen in 2012, I am looking at what I have accomplished to this point. That is a lot. Back on January 1, 2011, I put up a blog post (removed now for whatever reason) that gave a list of wants for this past year.

I had an agenda. I am not really sure if I accomplished my resolutions or not. I am not sure 2011 was mine. I know I rented a second studio. I know I tried hard to be more social. I know I wanted to concentrate more on me, Sheree the artist. I closed down my ”Git Outta My Face Gallery” for that very reason. I want so much to support other artists, but it is time for me to support myself. I did this by making a bunch more art this year. I have entered new and promising realms with my new art. This is good. Yet, there is a little part of me that asks “Was 2011 yours, really?”
Yes. I think it was. As I frantically move stuff around and reorganize my space and life, one thing that is a terrific triumph is I quit my job. I have had that job for eighteen years. I never really wanted to be an art teacher. I don’t have a degree in art education. However in 1993, it sounded like a good idea. I had an opportunity. I had a ten year old daughter who needed health insurance. I had bills to pay. So I signed on the dotted line.

For the first few years, I was in heaven on earth. Seriously. I was in an “artist who teaches” situation that couldn’t be better. Then about eight years into this gig things started to sour. I kept the job because it was a good job. However around five years ago, I wanted out so bad. I wanted to do other things. I wanted to be an artist who worked a day job that allowed for me to still be an artist. I didn’t want to keep worrying about everything so much that I took the job home with me every night. I would dream (nightmares) about my job. It had to stop, but I was afraid.

I am not afraid anymore. I did it. I quit. I have no regrets either. I have no idea what will happen next. I do know things will be better. I want some kind of simplicity and peace in my art life. Striving for a new adventure will bring that calm to me. Yes, this is a scary proposition, but I am not afraid anymore. I have RESOLVED this one, very important issue in my life. Now, I just have to find a way to be healthy and happy. I will do that too.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Acrylic / Mixed Media on Canvas
8” x 6”
Sheree Rensel

1 comment:

deb said...

Happy New Year! Here's a quote for you, its my resolution for the coming year and I think you will get where I am coming from - Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.~Franz Kafka. I am anxiously anticipating your journey going forward from here!