Saturday, February 25, 2012


I should be scared out of my mind. I am not. WHY??? I mean, when you look in the dictionary my photo could be next to the definition of ANXIETY. At least, it could have been that way over all my years. I must be evolving. There is some kind of weird, bizarre, essence of calm that is draped over me now. Maybe I am “losing it”. I don’t think so. What I truly believe is I am coming to a place in my life in which I realize I am going to be just fine. I won’t let anything (really) bad happen. I have been through too much and like a cat, I always land on my feet. I will again.

I was just talking to someone the other day about authentic self. I have my badge of honor in this realm of self discovery. My goodness! I have been digging a self exploration tunnel for decades. I am finally starting to see the light at the end of that tunnel.

Now, I feel as if I am learning on the hour. Bizarre coincidences are happening daily and serendipity is shining bright. One thing that has really shown its beautiful head is my sense of intuition. Yes I know in our left brain world, things like intuition are in the subjective reality category. It is so “HOOKY SPOOKY”. I believe in things like this though because I have lived and experienced enough situations that have proven to me there is something real about the subjective parts of our lives. I am a right brain girl. I will admit that and I am proud of it. However my sense of intuition is going crazy right now. I know it is on point.

The reason I want to tell all of you to listen to your gut is because I am doing that now. It has been proven to be a solid and obvious point of departure. I am an artist and have always had day jobs. I thought it was for financial reasons. I need money to support my art life. However, I have had a light bulb moment in recent weeks. I need a day job to connect with the world too.

I have been going to job interviews and this has helped me realize my true self, my true needs, and my true wants. It is almost funny. The juxtaposition of one interview compared to another is helping me realize what I want and don’t want in my life. The “vibes” are apparent as soon as I walk into a potential employers door. I can FEEL it. That is my intuition talking and I am listening with both ears. It is a gut feeling. I know for sure, we should all trust our gut. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Know yourself. Make a list of what you want your life to be like and go with that flow. I am doing this and I hope you do too!

“Perspectival Response”
Installation, Mixed Media
Sheree Rensel

Perspectival Response represents the way we all put everything we know into a mind basket of sorts. We have our opinions and perspectives on issues. Our intuition tells us what to think at a primal level. Take heed. This is the best way to move forward in your life.


namastenancy said...

I am hoping and praying that you find the good job that won't drain your energy. I so admire your courage. I would never have the guts to quit a job, however horrible, and hope that the universe would lead me to a better place. But more power to you for trying and I hope, succeeding.

Sheree Rensel said...

Not to worry. I am so cognizant of this issue (energy drain). In fact, this was one thing that dissuaded me from chasing one of the last jobs for which I applied. I stopped myself. I need time and space to continue my art work.

You would never have the guts no matter how horrible? YES, you would quit your job if you had to deal with what I had to live with for the past few years. Being locked in a tiny room with people who continue to berate, curse, and insult you. They would yell loud and even louder if you tried to convince them you were there to do good. If you had to dodge spit and furniture and wonder if you were going to make it through the day physically unharmed, you would quit. Any reasonable person would quit if they had sense and realized this is living in a toxic environment. It was not courage that played a role here. It was common sense. I am not heroic at all. I am just a person who wants to survive and keep her dignity. That's all.