Friday, July 27, 2012

Art Blog: FAITH

In some ways I don't even want to talk about this. All the drama and emotion are just too new. Also, I haven't signed on the dotted line so to speak. After going through months of rejection, there is a paranoid part of me. It isn't real yet. Let me step back a bit. Yes, I am an artist. Yes, I do not make enough money as an artist to pay all my bills. Yes, I have always had a day job. Yes, for decades I had a day job that paid well. Yes, I walked away from that day job because I just couldn't take the daily stress, harassment, and abuse. I gave it all up because I deserve more. I am not talking about money. I am talking about physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional well being. I mean, if you have money it is great, but if you feel like you want to die, that is not a good thing at all. In fact, money becomes unimportant and senseless. You don't need money in heaven.

So....................I just quit my (once upon a time) great job. Some people I know were freaked out. How could you do this Sheree? Are you crazy? No. I am not crazy at all. I just know for sure I want to "Live to Work", NOT "Work to Live". In other words, I am such a worker bee and I LOVE working. However, I do not want to work in a place that makes me sad, anxious, hating life, or myself. It just isn't worth it to me. I don't care how much money or benefits are offered. I am worth more than that. I feel this in my soul.

So I just went on a six month adventure of trying to figure out what I should do. I hoped and prayed everyday it would all work out. I had faith because my whole life has to do with divine intervention. I knew in my heart everything would be fine. Yet, there were moments I questioned God. After a few months, I almost wanted to curse the heavens. I mean, I was ready but nothing was happening. Be patient Sheree, be patient. That became my mantra.

Well, I got word today I got a job. It is a PERFECT job for me. PERFECT. The way I found this job is so bizarre. I applied. I was interviewed. It seems I was hired. I am still a bit skeptical because all the background checks and yadda yadda yadda have to be finished. I really have nothing to worry about because I know I am good. Still, there is that litte feeling of insecurity. I know for sure my guardian angel is waiting for kudos. I can hear her yelling at me now. "SAY WHAT?? I got you this job and there are no thank yous???" Yes, there will be huge thanks and gratitude when I am on the job in a couple of weeks. In fact, I will be so happy I will freak the angels out with my yells and screams of over exuberance. :-)


7 comments:

Gregory Urbano said...

congrats

namastenancy said...

You got the job? Please, please, please say YES YES AND YES!!! I have been following your adventures with interest, joy, sometimes concern, always friendship and hope for you to find a better place. Let this be the better place. Let it BE!

steph said...

Awesome!! Congrats..I know how you feel about not wanting to celebrate until perhaps after the first day on the job. I got a new one too, wayy closer to home but will be semi anxious until I actually start and get that first paycheck :) then I guess its truly official :)

Sheree Rensel said...

Thanks Greg!

Sheree Rensel said...

Nancy,
YEP. I got the job....Well, I haven't signed the papers yet, but the manager said I have the job. I am a bit superstitious. It doesn't seem real yet. I will be able to speak more about it in a few weeks. Until then, WHOOPEE!!! (I think) LOL

Sheree Rensel said...

Steph,
Exactly. I feel weird about celebrating until I hold my first new paycheck in my hand. Congratulations on your new gig too!!!! :-)

gilda said...

wonderful wonderful wonderful fabulous great!