Saturday, August 11, 2012

Art Blog: What HAPPENED?

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”

Dr. Seuss

Many years ago (25 to be exact), something traumatic happened to me. I was full of anxiety and trauma. I was offered an opportunity to go see a social worker for advice and guidance. It was a free program sponsored by the university I lived near at the time. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity because I was a hot mess with a tiny child in tow.

Each week, I would walk over to university mental health office and meet with her. Quickly she became aware of my artist status and took that into account during her psychological "readings". Some weeks were kind of boring. I just told her what I did and what I planned to do. However, there were days when I would walk into her office and she could read my face. The first words out of her mouth were "Sheree, what happened?"

During those years, I never really understood what was going on or why she asked me that. I didn't see the connection of my body language and my life experiences. I really didn't. In the meantime, I would tell her some sad story and she would give me tips on how to proceed.

Flash forward 25 years...............I get it now. In fact, when I get doomy and gloomy, I start off asking myself: "What happened Sheree?" This one question helps me to understand that I am reacting to external sources of my environment. I am not living in the now or using myself as my own reality. This past year has been more than difficult for me. I had to leave a job I love for bizarre reasons. I started to feel like a waif in the wind. Nothing has made sense for too many months. However, I got a new job that is a totally new experience for me. Yes I am sad I had to leave what I know, but I am happy I have this opportunity for new experiences. In fact, if I ask myself "What happened?", I could respond with words like

This painting is a perfect example of my feelings right not.

Yes. Thank you Universe!


tanders said...

your piece does seem to reflect the post! Glad to hear life is back to good :D

Sheree Rensel said...

Well.................It turned out to be not so good after all. It makes me sad. I cried a few tears. However, I know this "new start" was really a learning experience and a false alarm. It is too bad because I LOVED so much of it, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
Stay tuned. Even though this experience has been potent with emotion and analysis, I will explain my version of my real "new start". I am trusting my gut. I know things will work out the way things should be. I know it with all my heart.