"WHY, WHY, WHY?"
with my overdramatic, pre-kindergarten mind.
I still do that. Just now I tend to ask Facebook instead of the sky. LOL
I recently put up a post about feeling the art "blahs". It turned into a great discussion. There were all kinds of opinions and feedback. One suggested the book Van Gogh Blues. I am done with art self help books, but this title perked my curiosity. So I started researching. It is written my Eric Maisel. I read a few excerpts on Amazon.com of the book and watched a YouTube video in which he explains the theme of the book. His premise is artists (all creative types) want to "hold meaning afloat". He also mentions the specific condition of Existential Depression.
I had never heard those two words put together. I have heard of existentialism and of course, depression. I just never linked the two. I have fought biological depression my entire life. I got those genes from both sides of my family. I know about it and how to deal. However, I had never realized that some of this is the "existential" variety. I love that I now have an official name for the "art blahs".
So how do you treat this condition. Well, if you already know you aren't in medical trouble (You have seen a doctor/therapist), you can first eat right and exercise to rid yourself of some demons. Also, you can talk it out. Change your own inner dialogue about your choices in life and stop the "I am not worthy" rolling tape in your mind. I am so guilty of this. My rational self knows I am an artist of worth and I have worked long and hard to get to this point in my life. There is no logical reason for me to be feeling droopy or sad about being the artist I chose to be. However, sometimes we just need to talk it out. That is why I posted my thoughts on Facebook. This is a healthy thing.
It is kind of funny because we artists know in our hearts we really do matter. We all know there are times when we all question this fact. The best cure is to get back in there and be persistent. The mere act of creating can be tough, but the end result is a lifted spirit and feelings of accomplishment. Our tenacity will overcome any doubts and it also answers my original question; "WHY?"