Friday, November 30, 2012

Art Blog: My New Normal - Part 1

OK. Here is a start. I have so much to write. I have so much to tell. Some of it is almost unbelievable unless you really believe in spirits and higher powers. I will get to that later. In the meantime I have to tell you all the beginnings. I quit the job I had for over 18 years this past January. It was a weird, insane moment. I just had to do it. Despite loving this job for years, it had become a nightmare for me. It was so horrible, I would cry when I got home from work. I knew I had to do something to survive. So I quit.

Now what??? I spent the next few months wondering, plotting, and searching. I had bad feelings about teaching. I thought I hated it. I even told my friends, I will never teach again. This is how crazy I got during the past year. I just wanted to alleviate the emotional pain. After looking for some kind of non-teaching jobs for weeks and months, I printed out this note to myself.

I wasn't really sure what it meant; I just had a feeling. I just knew, I had to post it right in front of my face. I taped it to the window next to my computer. I looked at it every day as I looked for jobs. God is waiting? God is waiting for what? I kept asking myself that question, but held this sign with high regard. Then things started to happen. Some things were horrible. Now, I know they were the antithesis of what I was supposed to do. I had to experience what I DIDN'T want in order to understand what I did want. I get it now. As I moped around in my studio, I realized I missed teaching. I want my art room back. I wanted a place to call my own and do what I do best.
As soon as I got done thinking that thought, I got a phone call. I will write a full blog post about this soon. At that moment, it was as if God said "OK. That's all I needed." Long story short, I got hired to teach art and technology at a very cool place. I have spent the last four weeks being crazy frantic. I realized today, I want things to be back to the way I had built up over the years on my last job. I had created such a great art room and program. I want that NOW. However, I realize I have to give it time. In fact, that is part of the joy. Building a new program as God smiles down. God waited and I was ready. :-)

A new home.
A new normal.
I am not sure I will last another 18 years here. In fact, it is unlikely. However, I will give it my best shot. We will see. In the meantime, I am a happy teaching artist. I was sent here. I know it for sure. Stay tuned for the explanation. There is much more to this story and it will curl your toes.
Now, I am feeling out the NEW NORMAL.

1 comment:

artbird said...

Your journey is an inspiration. Thanks for sharing it! I'm excited that your brilliant people skills are getting put to good use! :)