Monday, October 21, 2013

Art Blog: Square Peg

Sometimes you have to go through trials to figure out what you really want. As an artist and person, I am a self improvement addict. I am all about spirituality and self realization. All this work is done for the sake of betterment. One of my biggest issues right now is the feeling of alienation. I haven't felt comfortable in my own skin. In order to alleviate this tension, I decided to start a very specific task for myself. I wanted to put effort into trying to fit in more. I wanted to put time into being more comfortable in my environment. I have been working on this for over a year now.

My strategies have worked in some ways. I see, look, and know what is around me with much more clarity. Rather than being held up in my art house and studio, I have gotten out into the provincial world that surrounds me. I have taken it all in with deep breaths, wide eyes, and fine tuned ears. Oh. Now I get it.

Yet, I realize now I have come full circle. There was nothing wrong with my art life in the first place. Even though I felt bad about not showing locally, I now realize that is OK. I don't have to be a "local". The irony is I will never be a local. I am an immigrant, so to speak. I live in my own land. I tried to become a member of another world and I really don't like it. I have realized my independence is one of the most important attributes I possess. I want to be the Queen of Sheree World. There is no harm in that. So, I am going back there. I can hear Glinda's words to Dorothy: "You've always had the power....."

The moral of this story is you have to be true to yourself:
If it doesn't feel good, don't do it.
There is truth to the idiomatic expression about trying to fit a "square peg into a round hole". It just isn't going to happen.
Now, I am OK with this.


Sheree Rensel said...

I actually feel liberated now that I have written this post. I have been dealing with too much drama and trying not to say the wrong thing or do anything that might meet with disapproval. That is not who I am at all. I feel free again. Thank you UNIVERSE!! :-)

Jeff Rey Dillon said...

Thanks for sharing. At times, I too, am a stranger in a strange land, unable to work, struggling day to day to pay small bills, stay warm, and have hope. I even look forward to climate chsnge, cause I know I will be warmer.