Thursday, August 27, 2015

Art Blog: The CLICK

This has happened to me before. Whenever I am in dire straits, I wander and whimper for while. Then, there is this CLICK. All of the drama goes away and I am back on track. This recent bout of turmoil has lasted quite while. I dug deep into my toolbox to find a way out. It seemed nothing was working.

I watched tons of art videos. I read bunches of art blogs. I stood in the middle of my studio only to walk out a few minutes later. For the first time in my life, I thought "Maybe I am just done making art(?)"

I have been having some health problems. Nothing deadly, but still worrisome. I didn't care about this except for the way it was effecting my art motivation. There were moments I thought I was doomed. However, I kept digging in that toolbox. I kept thinking, I just need to hear the CLICK.

I decided to resume my bucket list project. For the past few years, I have had it in my mind to continue to show in all the states united. I have shown lots in Michigan and Florida because I have lived in both states. However, I want to show my work in all 50. So, I entered a show in Minnesota. This is one state in which I have never shown my work. Weeks later, I was notified I got two pieces in the show. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm......................

This morning, I woke up very early and packed up the work to travel. I filled out the forms, paid for shipping, and dropped it off to put it on it's way. I love thinking of my work going to all the places I have no desire to visit. It is like my art is my proxy tourist. This is fine with me.
I came home after dropping the work off and fell asleep on the couch. The hours of prep made me tired. Then, I woke up. I got up and picked up some canvases and started working. I even got out my graphite pencils and worked on preliminary ideas. I realized I heard the CLICK.


I have 20 something states and 3 international exhibits so far. I have to recheck my resume to make sure the numbers are accurate. In the meantime, I am on my way. Now, I have to find shows in places like North Dakota, Alaska, Hawaii, etc. At least, it gives me a goal.
I want to keep clickin.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Art Blog: There are no SUPER HEROES.

I have never felt this way in my entire life. NEVER. I decided to quit my most recent job because they wanted me to do something I could not do. It was a matter of principle. I don't want to get into details, but I was so pulled and torn with my decision. I really didn't want to quit. However, it was a moot point. If I can't do something physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I just can't do it. The End.

So after giving my notice, I had to go pack up all my belongings and fill my SUV up with all my teaching props, gear, and toys. When I was in my art room, there was a little part of me that wished a Super Hero would rush in and tell me it would be OK. We fixed it! We want you to stay! I really thought that! Packing boxes in the darkened room, I kept thinking the warden would call and announce the reprieve. I will not get the death penalty after all! Yet as the hours passed and I kept packing, lifting, and loading, nobody came to say anything. I was all alone feeling kind of crappy, but a bit relieved all at the same time. I have always known there are no super heroes or super anything for that matter.

So now I have all my art teaching junk polluting my own art studio. One big pile of mess. It reminds me of my life right now. It is kind of a wreck. It is so funny because so many times in my life I have been told to concentrate more on my art. However, I am always in such fear because of money. My art is not "commerce qualified", so to speak. I don't want it to be either. If it sells it sells, if not, I have always had my paycheck. This sounds so cliché, but maybe now is the time to just "BE AN ARTIST". Maybe I should rely on my own super powers?

I can find simpler jobs to pay bills. I have always figured out a way to support myself and have done a very good job for five decades. Maybe I am weird for thinking this way, but it just has to be time for me now. Things will work out. I have no idea why I was thinking someone would run into the art room and rescue me. That is nonsense.


I have always been crazy like this.